National Cat Day

Since today is National Cat Day, it is only natural I blog about cats.

I have never been a fan of cats. The only cat my family ever had was a black cat named Midnight—creative name, I know.

Midnight’s hobbies included isolating herself in the basement and biting me.

We had Midnight while I was in preschool and kindergarten, so my mom told me they were just “love bites” to spare my feelings. I suppose it isn’t a very motherly thing to tell your child, “The cat just hates you.”

I have never really understood people who prefer having cats as pets to dogs. It makes absolutely no sense to me.

In my mind, choosing to live under the same roof as a cat is the equivalent of choosing a to live with a really moody roommate.

A cat is like a roommate who feels she is too good for you, locks herself in her room all day, and then when she finally comes out of her room to grab something from the refrigerator, she says some snarky comment that has the potential to ruin your day.

I would personally prefer the roommate who is happy and enjoys spending time with me. But, that’s just me.

But since today is National Cat Day and not National Dog Day, I should give cats and their human admirers a little more respect on this day.

Here is one cool cat I would like to be my new best friend:

Seriously, I have never seen a more chill animal in my life.

I am in awe the owner is getting away with this without having his eyes clawed out. I have mad respect for this cat and its owner’s choreographed and well-executed dance moves.

 

Klutz

A common misconception is that dancers are always graceful. I used to be a ballerina, and let’s just say, nobody would ever guess that I was anything more than a huge klutz if they observed my behavior over the course of just three days this past week.

Saturday, October 19: I walked back from the bathroom to get some Scope. Instead of taking the whole bottle of mouthwash with me, I decided to just take a swig in my room and walk back to the bathroom to spit it out into the sink. Not paying attention, I banged my toe so hard on my bedroom door that it is still purple. Fortunately, my mouth full of Scope prevented me from unleashing profanities the world was not prepared to hear, but oh boy, was I thinking them.

Sunday, October 20: While explaining to my friend the misfortunes of the day before, I opened her car door and banged it on my elbow. On that note, there is nothing funny about a funny bone.

Monday, October 21: My roommate bought bottled Starbucks frappuccinos for us this week that had been sitting in our room. Since it was Monday morning, I definitely needed to start my morning with a caffeine boost. I scurried down the stairs to the kitchen and filled a Styrofoam cup with ice from the ice machine. While I was walking back up the stairs, I missed a step, and fell up the stairs.

Using my arms to catch myself, most of the ice came flying out of the cup, and I bruised my already-bruised toe even more.

Since I didn’t want to walk all the way downstairs again for more ice, I decided to settle for lukewarm coffee. I had tried and I had failed, and I was not going to try again if it meant hurting myself even more.

After I poured my coffee into the Styrofoam cup, I naturally spilled the drink on myself. T-shirts are really just adult bibs though, am I right?

The moral of the story is I could really benefit from channeling some of my former grace so I do not hurt myself (or anyone else) anymore than I already have this past week.

Antisocial Media

I’m sure at some point everyone has analyzed how social media is a dangerous and creepy societal norm. When cell phones became popular, I thought, “OK. This is cool.” I saw it as a very safe tool to have and use for emergency situations.

But since this original thought, things have gotten a little out of hand.

Social media is advertized as something designed to bring us all closer together, but yet it has had the opposite effect.

People hide behind their cell phones in awkward social situations every day. Rumor has it that at some point people were actually forced to communicate with the people around them during new, uncomfortable experiences.

It is difficult to make new friends when every person in the room is on his or her cell phone. But you don’t want to be the only loser who is sitting there staring at paint drying on the wall.

Facebook. Twitter. Instagram. GroupMe. Vine. Pinterest. WhatsApp.

These are all apps I have on my iPhone.

Needless to say, I’m a hypocrite.

But the one app I have that made me truly realize society is going downhill…

Snapchat.

Snapchat is just a sad excuse for communication. But somehow it is one of the primary methods I communicate with some of my friends.

Snapchat requires no words, and if you do decide to use some words, they are limited.

Of course I’m sure some people with long-winded friends love this aspect of the app.

Regardless, we have come a long way from talking in person to sending people timed pictures of our unattractive faces.

And the worst part of it all is that if you want to be in the know, you have to have all these apps. There is absolutely no escape for our impending doom.

And on that positive note, I bid you all farewell.

What’s Up?

Am I the only person who genuinely does not know how to answer the question, “What’s up?” The question has always caused me great distress.

When I was younger, I used to always respond with, “Nothing.” It was my go-to answer.

I told my older sister I hated being asked this question because telling someone there was absolutely nothing going on in my life made me sound like quite the bore.

My sister temporarily solved the problem by telling me to respond with “The sky.”     

When I was a little girl, this response was normally accepted as cute. In fact, it typically received a few laughs.

There’s only one problem: if I said the same cliche punch line today, people would justifiably think I’m a tool.

So here I am—back at step one with my original question.

I’m clearly over thinking this, but I genuinely believe the world would be a better place if people simply stopped asking others, “What’s up?”

Part of the problem is when people ask these questions in passing, the answer has to be short. There isn’t much time to respond.

And let’s be real. It’s also expected to be short.

Sure, you could tell the polite acquaintance everything that is going on in your life, but they genuinely would not care.

It could mean they never ask you, “What’s up?” again, though. So if that is your purpose in telling them everything about your failing relationship, keep on talking.

For the people out there who ask, “What’s up?” please make it easier for the over analyzers out there.

A suggestion for a much less confusing alternative is the typical, “How are you?” There is no reason or need to vary these questions.

People can still answer this question in a quick way, without seeming boring or negative. People can say, “Wonderful!” or “I’m doing great!” to give just two examples.

It’s October 3rd

Since today is October 3rd, I am going to dedicate this post to one of the most accurate film depictions of catty women ever made: Mean Girls.

If you have never watched the film, or you just need a recap, here is the quote that makes October 3rd National Mean Girls’ Day:

In the movie, the main character, Cady Heron, is extremely enamored with the boy who sits in front of her in math class, Aaron Samuels. Because of this, she takes note of every interaction they have. And naturally, over analyzes them.

Cady says, “On October 3rd, he asked me what day it is.”

 

“Two weeks later we spoke again.”

I could go on forever about all the spot-on quotes in Mean Girls, but I am just going to pick one.

We all know the lesson we learned in kindergarten that tells us “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” But I would like to specify that if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t make up something nice to say either.

Really, just don’t say anything at all.

In the film, Regina George compliments Lea Edwards, who is a student passing by her in the hallway. This is how the conversation goes:

Regina: “Oh my God. I love your skirt. Where did you get it?”

Lea: “It was my mom’s in the ‘80s.”

Regina: “Vintage. So adorable.”

Lea: “Thanks!”

Regina: [after Lea walks away] “That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I have ever seen.”

Here is the clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfLSjobM9bg

And now I will vent.

Recently, a member of my sorority was giving a tour of our house to a freshman. My roommate and I are organized when it comes to school, but when it comes to our room, that is a completely different story.

Our room is a mess. We know it’s a mess. We sometimes say we should clean our room, but in all honesty, we like our room exactly as it is.

Anyway, the person giving the tour is a very organized person. Everything in her room is perfectly placed.

When she opened the door, she wasn’t expecting to see me, or the unfortunate condition of my room. Her eyes grew big and I could see the look of horror in them, but she said, “Wow! Your room is really cute!”

It was like she knew the thoughts she was thinking weren’t nice, and in order to cover them up, she said the COMPLETE opposite of what she was actually thinking.

This logic makes communication and life a lot more complicated than it needs to be. So long story short, if you think someone’s room is unorganized and ugly, the person living there probably agrees with you. You don’t have to try to cover it up.

And, people, the moral of the story is please just be straightforward. Giving disingenuous praise does not make you a nicer person: Knowing when to keep you mouth shut and speaking the truth does.